Time passes. I find myself counting the days since you were gone. That's absolutly non-sense, I know, but yet, it gives me what I need to keep going. That is the memory of you.
Sometimes, not very often, I can see you, even if you are not actually there. I can picture you in certain places and it's like you were there again, back to my life. My body freezes and I get goose bumps all over me. My heart is racing, I can't control it. And when I'm about to smile, you vanish. Like the other times before.
I close my eyes and take deep breath, to stop the tears from falling. I think to myself: "It's OK, he wasn't here anyway. You got used to that. Keep going, you're doing just fine."
And that's what keeps me going, to live through another day. Believing that we can get pass this, is the first step to move on and face that it's never gonna be the same way.
Move on... Such a scary expression. Sometimes that's the only way, as much as it hurts me to admit. What comforts me is knowing that I don't necessary have to forget about you, to move on. You own a piece of me and you will always, always be special to me.