Day 95.

Time passes. I find myself counting the days since you were gone. That's absolutly non-sense, I know, but yet, it gives me what I need to keep going. That is the memory of you.

Sometimes, not very often, I can see you, even if you are not actually there. I can picture you in certain places and it's like you were there again, back to my life. My body freezes and I get goose bumps all over me. My heart is racing, I can't control it. And when I'm about to smile, you vanish. Like the other times before.

I close my eyes and take deep breath, to stop the tears from falling. I think to myself: "It's OK, he wasn't here anyway. You got used to that. Keep going, you're doing just fine."

And that's what keeps me going, to live through another day. Believing that we can get pass this, is the first step to move on and face that it's never gonna be the same way.

Move on... Such a scary expression. Sometimes that's the only way, as much as it hurts me to admit. What comforts me is knowing that I don't necessary have to forget about you, to move on. You own a piece of me and you will always, always be special to me.

Day 78.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks,
No it don't break even.


Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks,
No it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces.

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding,
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks,
No it don't break even, even no.
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
('Coz when a heart breaks, no it don't break even).

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks,
No it don't break, no it don't break,
No it don't break even, no.
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces,
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces, 
('Coz when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no.
Oh, it don't break even, no.
Oh, It don't break even, no.

The Script - Breakeven.

Seventy five days later.

I saw you.

It was a matter of seconds, but it was enough. My heart was almost exploding. I wasn't expecting to see you. Never again, to be honest. 

It was like you were never gone. But you were.

And then again, I wish you weren't.

I'd do anything...