Finalmente, 90210!

February 9th *

I just wished...

"Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me." 

Plain White T's, Hey There Delilah.

I just want to say that this song brings me back 3 years ago. And listening it today, reminded me of a safe place. A place where I belonged for such a long time. It was one of the best years of my life. And I miss it, I miss it so badly. I just wished sometimes I could push the button and return to that, just for a second. Just to feel, what I have already felt. Just to remember...

How things were so much easier back then... Much more simple.

How things can change. I just wished they didn't. I wish I could stay like this for a while, because next year things are going to change. A lot. And I can't handle it. Is it so much to ask to stop for a minute?

I just wanted time to stop. Like frozen moments, frozen memories.

Back to reality, now.

There's nothing.

Time heals almost anything, not everything. Time may allow you to forgive someone (or at least, make you think you did), but that doesn't mean it makes you forget about things, and it sure doesn't heal all your wounds. Not when they are too deep, too spiked in you. It's like scars, they are a part of you. You learn to live with them and sometimes you don't even remember they are there, because they don't hurt and they tend to disguise. But they are there... and they will always be there, no matter what you do. It doesn't matter how many apologizes you get, how much effort people make for you. Not, when you know in your heart that something is not right. Because it really exists something called "too late". And that means the door has already closed. Too many chances were given, too many damages were done and too many non-listened words. There's just nothing left to say because it has all been said.

And suddenly you realize: maybe you didn't forgive. Maybe you are unable to forgive, because it's something unforgivable. So don't force yourself to do something that is out of your league. It's not your place. It's not my place. Not anymore.

So what can you do? How do you forgive someone?

You don't.

"The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back."

Liz Parker in Roswell; Season 1, 4th episode-Leaving Normal.

"Every choice has its consequences. Some more than others."